Sunday, September 20, 2009

Already a year has passed and it was...

When reality smacked me hard enough in the head that I realized the true challenge that was in front of me. It was on September 11th, 2008 that I was told by one of the doctors at the Tom Baker Centre that my tumour had become very aggressive and that I wouldn't be around for Christmas, 2009 if we didn't get it under control. It took a few days for it to really sink in to me what Tasha and I were told. It's been such a blur since then but that stands out fairly clearly.

Now that things seem to be "under control" regarding this, I find it hard to look around and accept the fact that we, as humans, take our lives so easily for granted. I know that I've mentioned it before but it's something that unfortunately we will never understand. The majority of all we hear is the bad news that is happening. Why do we allow that to be the driver of our global car? From my perspective, and I'm sure many others, it doesn't make sense. There's so many challenges in our world that I feel could have been taken care of in a much better way should we have been taught at a younger age the importance of listening, instead of stating an opinon. Have you ever tried that challenge? To sit in the midst of a conversation and do everything you can do avoid saying the word "I". We have all been taught this concept but are rarely good at it. Do we have to prove ourselves to the world that we live in? I personally feel that we have to. The question for me is "why"?

I love so much playing with our son Talyn. He truly is an amazing gift to Tasha and I. A challenge that I am having with him is the fact that he already feels that has to be "Number 1!" and "Me first" no matter what. Is that part of being a four year old boy or is it part of the influences around him? I know that I definitely do not know.

Where and why am I writing this? It's due to the fact that it's so unfortunate in our fast pased, go, go, go world - that it takes serious challenges in life to make us slow down and smell the flowers. I would definitely do anything I could to go back in time and learn this as a young boy. I'd probably still be dealing with brain cancer, but at least I would have been able to apply it then instead of waiting until now; the fourth time.

I will do anything I can to get through this ongoing challenge of mine so that I am here to teach my son what I have learned and am continually learning. I want to ensure that he will have this perspective as he takes his many steps through his gift called life.

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