Off to Mexico

Looking forward to heading south for a little while to celebrate the fact that things are going so well for me.

It was about a year ago that the latest MRI showed significant growth and inflammation that truly made me feel the reality of my tumour finally taking control of my path and was aiming me towards the world of after-life. I thank it for doing this to me to make me finally realize the luck that I (and all of us) have to exist in the first place.

I spoke a couple of weeks ago at my friend's client seminar to tell "A Story about a guy named Ryan". At that seminar, I told the people there about my history with respect to diagnosis, treatments, anger, denial, anxiety, sadness, bitterness and almost anything else that applies. I also discussed the benefits and what this has truly taught me over the last 12 years.

What is truly the sadness of it all is that it takes something like this to really make us appreciate the fact that we're even here. The fact that I am sitting here in my pajamas, drinking coffee and typing on my computer. Telling my thoughts that come from my brain on this planet we call Earth in this infinite Universe that came from somewhere that we will never truly know. I am very Spiritual regarding all of this. After all, what are the odds that this universe, our solar system, our planet that we have named "Earth" could even exist in the first place. I think that I would easily win the Lotto 6-49 at least a billion times before the fact that I am here, right now, typing on my computer in the first place.

Why is there so much fighting and disrespect for others regarding "how we got here, where we're going, etc.) when none of us will ever actually know. Why do we not simply respect that "we're here and are extremely lucky to be here in the first place"?

Being an ex-pilot, I was taught very well that when you are in control of a plane that has an issue (engine failure, fire, etc.), your job is to solve the problem without emotion controlling you. After all, when you're responsible for 200+ lives behind you in the plane, is it wise for me to critique, express anger without reasoning, allow fear to control your mind (which then controls the plane), etc, etc, etc.....? Absolutely not!! Therefore, why do we allow opinions and critique to control our everyday lives?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that we should all become "Vulcans" from Star Trek (only live by reason and logic). I am simply saying that we should all take some time to "chill out" and think about the beauty and the benefits of the fact that we are here. Unfortunately, the pace that we live in is way too damn fast.

If we're only here once, why not stop and look around. Book it in your "To Do's" on your Blackberry or whatever it is you use.

As the great Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "NOTHING IS AS SACRED AS THE INTEGRITY OF YOUR OWN MIND"

I'm not going to wish you all a great day. I am going to wish you all the best forever.

So incredibly proud of my amazing wife Tasha!

Check this out. Tasha is part of a documentary that has been completed. It's being presented this weekend in Toronto.

Go to this website address and push play on the film in the upper right corner.

http://www.tellher2.com/the-documentary/

Have a great day!

Had a great surprise Birthday party!

Tash did a great job of not letting me know that close friends were coming over to celebrate my 37th birthday last night.

We were out in Kananaskis for the weekend to celebrate the upcoming Christmas with the great company that she works with. So nice to see everyone!

On our way home, her and I talked about what we wanted to do for a birthday dinner and was blown away after my nap that she had invited so many of our close friends over to celebrate my birthday. It was awesome!!!

I had a very emotional morning this morning for who knows what reasoning. I'm so happy with how everything is going for me, but I'm approaching that point that I'd be willing to do almost anything to just go back to getting up in the morning, go to work, see my clients, see my co-workers, come home, have dinner, spend time with Tasha and Talyn and go to bed. I've completely forgotten what that is. I'm pretty sure that I've mentioned this before but wow, it's approaching my "point of no return". I learned how to deal with that situation in flight school, but definitely didn't learn how to apply to life.

I did my latest Avastin injection last Wednesday and am finding that its side effects of tiredness are really starting to hit me now. I'm sleeping about 9 hours a night and 1 to 2 hours of naps in the day. I'm going for one right after this.

I hope that everyone is doing well.

Latest MRI....

Came back showing that the beast is definitely staying in its cave. Was feeling really confiident going in to get the results, but still a little apprehensive that we were going to be told bad news.

It's insane the amount of thoughts and energy that goes through us when we're waiting for these important results. Very challenging to continue accepting the fact that although you are mentally in control; it could be physically completely different.

What I wouldn't do have a week of working where I had to deal with traffic, building plans for my clients, and anything and everything else. Ah, the irony.

As the great Hamlet said:
"To be, or not to be: that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them?"

I have always felt that it is much better to "take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them." The hardest part is sticking to that plan. I know that I will never give in, however, I also know that there will always be times of doubt.

As hard as it is to accept a challenge, all that we can truly do is control our minds and learn something from it. Nothing else matters - the weather, the traffic, the long line up when buying groceries. Those are areas that can used to define the simplicity when it comes to the concept of challenges. It is truly sad that knowing there are far more significant challenges in life, we often allow the small stuff to control us. What I wouldn't do to go back to when I was originally diagnosed and use what I have learned in the last 14 months. I don't think that I would be in the same position that I am in now. I could be right, I could be wrong. Does that really matter? I don't know.

All that I truly know now is that to be the Captain of your mind and truly maintain control - life will become simpler, challenges will be easier, and your love and respect for the life that you have been given will truly stand out. I wish that I was taught this when I was a child. My son Talyn is already starting to learn this from me and if that is the only thing that I can do for him, so it shall be.

Peace, love and happiness to you all!