Next treatment of Avastin

Has come and gone. I was at the Tom Baker on Tuesday and Wednesday for a check-up and Avastin treatment. Didn't have any issues with respect to bloodwork so they let me go forward with the Avastin. Haven't had any side-effects since then other than the regular tiredness.

Tash and I are taking a couple of days off from our world of cancer and our son Talyn and are heading out to Banff for a couple of days. It's been a long time since we've actually gone on a vacation so Talyn's staying here with my Mom and Tasha and I are just going out to chill. Have pretty well forgotten what "chilling out" truly is. That's definitely a huge burden with respect to dealing with cancer is that it tends to control our schedule. Much more relaxed doing chemo now versus radiation in December and January but stuff always seems to be on the go.

Is it me or is this year beyond zooming by?!?!? It seems like just yesterday that I was at the Foothills recovering from all the seizures I had. That was December 12th - almost 6 months already. I definitely believe the theory that time only speeds up the older we get. Is that due to doing too much, working too hard, not spending time on slowing down and smelling the flowers. All I know is that it happens and all that I can do about it is accept it and focus some of my energy on "stopping". As I've mentioned many times before, using meditation every day has really been a good thing for me. It makes me stop and do nothing. Very good for your soul.

Ciao for now.

Anger builds up inside of me....

Just found out yesterday via email that the father of a friend of mine from my UBC days is now dealing with Multiple Myeloma - a blood disease that basically eats away at your bone. This man has literally riden his bike around the world distance wise and blows my mind how healthy he has always been. Very similar to what happened to Lance Armstrong.

Damn! I'm really starting to find it difficult to keep my anger at bay. I've always been a peaceful man that doesn't believe in war (unless absolutely necessary!!!). When we look at the paper everyday and see so much death due to disagreement when we are given the gift of even being here...I will gladly call myself and idiot for not understanding. Could someone please explain to me what the odds are that we could even exist? I'm thinking pretty slim. Therefore, could someone then explain to me why it is so easy for us to forget that we're so incredibly lucky to be here in the first place?

As Led Zeppelin sang many years ago.....I am so "Dazed and Confused".

Passing of a friend

This writing applies to a great man who lived in Gibson / Sechelt in B.C. who has also been fighting brain cancer similar to mine for awhile. I had been in contact with him and his wife via phone and through email regarding the treatments that he was currently going through, and although I have never met them face to face, my respect for him along with his wife and family is indescribable.

He passed away unexpectadly during sleep on April 22nd. I cannot even begin to imagine the impact on the family and how hard this would be. They are around the same age as Tasha and I and have 2 young children.

All that I know is that there is a battle out there that needs to be won and that I will do everything I possibly can to fight this war. I have always believed in peace and do my best to work out altercations, however the anger that I have inside of me regarding this challenge has only grown much stronger.

Why is it that we as brilliant humans need situations like this for us to realize the blessing we have to exist in the first place? As I have mentioned before, I did not have the respect for life before or after my initial diagnosis in 1997. It wasn't until I was told that if my situation isn't taken care off ASAP, I would not be living by the end of 2009. It finally made me realize how lucky I am to even exist.

My thoughts and love goes to this family. Please find attached their website if you are interested in learning more about them. www.caringbridge.org/visit/eliasminatsis