Sunday, August 30, 2009

Long time, no chat!!!

Wow! I can't believe that it's been over 6 weeks since I last wrote in this. Time is just zooming on by!

Hope that everyone is having a great summer. Didn't really get much "summer" until after Stampede Week. I seriously think that our summer is starting later and staying later until the end of September. Who really knows? I know I don’t.

I'm in for an MRI tomorrow and will get the results the next day when I'm in for my 2 week checkup. Had some issues regarding anxiety for a while which of course made me feel that my tumours taking control. Once you have cancer, you assume that anything that's happening to your body is due to and / or making things worse. Will update once I know what the doctor and the MRI says.

Tash, Talyn and I were back in Regina for a couple of weeks visiting family in August. Her parents have a cottage just across the water from Regina beach. Great to get away!

Spent some time kayaking around the shoreline and can’t explain how peaceful that was. To be out there with no one else but yourself and your soul while listening to nothing but nature is a true gift that we all have. It’s unfortunatle that it’s hard to actually get away to do it.

This is something that I’m truly having a hard time with. I’m sure that I’ve written it before, but I still don’t understand. As brilliant as we humans truly are, there is so much out there that we need to learn and may never understand.

Why is it that it takes something major for us to stop and realize that beauty of the fact that we even exist. It doesn’t make sense. I know that we must learn, we must work, we must etc. but why are we not truly taught to stop and respect and admire the fact that we’re even here? With some of the reading that I’ve been doing, it has really helped me to stop and think about the odds that we even exist. What are the odds that this concept called life is there? How could we have ever gotten here in the first place? We’re on a planet that has been named “Earth”, have been given the necessities for life to exist on it, in a universe that theoretically is infinite. When I stop and think about this, all I can say is “WHAT?!?!?!?”

I’ve always been a logical thinker, which helped me a lot while I was a commercial pilot and a financial consultant, and now while I go through my cancer battle which seems to be going well. Because of this way of thinking, it just doesn’t make sense that we as humans are so smart, yet so silly. So much time, effort and money is put into defense and protection when the majority of all of the problems on this planet (hunger, disease, poverty) could be resolved. Why is it that war exists without reasoning and there is so much death that shouldn’t be? Why is it that we as humans allow “Ego” to control so much?

Please don’t get me wrong; we must learn, we must achieve success in our lives and we must raise amazing children so that they can bring humans to a higher level. I’m just constantly confused as to why it takes disease, death due to unnecessary war, poverty, starvation and many other issues to make us realize the luck we have to even be here. The irony of this, as I write, is that it took a punch in my head from cancer on September 11th, 2008 (even more ironic that it was on the 7 year anniversary of the original September 11th, 2001) to make me stop and dig deeper inside of my soul to understand this.

Believe me, I’m still working on it and will until the day I "move on".

Peace, love and happiness.

4 comments:

Bob said...

Ryan ... so glad to see your post today. I check often and given what I know personally about your situation, it has given me chills not seeing your post. So glad to hear that you have been so busy and that your summer has been so fantastic.

Thinking about you a lot and praying for your success battling this thing.

Cheers... Bob (Chelsea's Dad)

Natalie, Jamie and Powell Girls said...

Glad you are back!

steph said...

Hey Ryan - glad to hear from you! I believe you've been swinging a golf club or two this summer, so not worrying, but glad you're keeping in touch! Take care - chat soon - steph

Tyson said...

Good to hear from you again, and that all is going well (all things considered.)

You are still regularly in our thoughts and we check your blog a couple times a week. Not so long with the updates next time!

Cheers,

Tyson & Tanja.